I like to consider myself as being an “aggressive pedestrian” in the city. From taking smart shortcuts, to strategically weaving my way through crowds, I have learned many simple tactics that help to get me to my destination as quickly as possible.

One of these tactics I employ on a regular basis, is what I like to call “anticipating the green”.

Fairly self-explanatory, anticipating the green refers to the process of understanding traffic signals well enough to be able to predict as early as possible when the corresponding green light will change. By mastering this process, there is the possibility of gaining a couple of solid seconds in the journey. Not to mention the satisfaction of leaving the rest of the crowd behind on the sidewalk, bewildered at the boldness of my move.

Not to brag, but I have become a professional at this. On a regular basis, I watch the lights to my left and right turn yellow, make sure there are no straggling cars speeding last minute through the intersection, then cross. One of the small victories in my day.

When I first began applying this procedure, I realized that the theory of anticipating the green applies to much more than just traffic signals and pedestrian existence. It can be applied to relationships in life as well.

Real life relationships, whether romantic or platonic, are composed of a complex system of reading signals. Signals that indicate intentions, hesitations, and inclinations. Forging a connection with another person requires an intricate reading of the signals in order to enact an appropriate reaction. From experience, I have learned that caution must be exercised in both of these scenarios.

A few weeks ago, while walking down Spadina to visit a friend, I was distracted. Caught up in my thoughts, I wasn’t paying attention to what was around me. I walk down Spadina quite frequently, and know the traffic signals like the back of my hand. However, this time I had gotten ahead of myself, and thinking that I was one intersection ahead of where I actually was I anticipated the green and began to cross. Unfortunately, the intersection I was actually crossing had an extra turning light. I managed to jump back just in time to see an orange cab zoom past me, inches from my toes. It was a close call, but it taught me a lesson I will never forget.

It’s easy to lose perspective. Focused on the end goal or destination, the exchanges in the present time lose significance. When the focus is on the potential that lies in the desired target, signals can be misread and misunderstood. Much like the walk to and from one place, the “in-between” time from when a relationship starts to when it is fully formed reflects a kind of negotiation process. It is the process of evaluating the signals in that in-between time that leads to whether that end will be reached, or whether a vibrant orange taxi will fly around the corner and take you out.

The ending point will be reached eventually. For the time being stay alert and stay in the present, because something that seems predictable can sometimes catch you off guard. Life is about the exchange of signals, action and reaction, whether it be electronic or human. While humans are much more complicated and confusing than the straightforward traffic signals, there are similarities in the consequences of misreading these indicators. They are implemented to give direction. And if the signals are not acknowledged, then the direction of the course can be impacted.

Anticipating the green is effective when applied properly. It can get you ahead of the crowd and get you to where you want to be ahead of schedule. But although signals can be anticipated, they cannot be ignored.